I Got Them Poops Like Jagger (AKA She Poops In Mysterious Ways)
Posted by andnowicandiehappy
For a moment can we just sit and bask in the wonderousness of the word poop? Say it, how slowly the letters trickle out. Poooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooop.
Poop is also the word boob but upside down. (Visual proof: boob; poop.)
Sometimes when I’m singing along to a song in my car on the way to or home from work I like to inject other words into the lyrics (hence the title to this lil’ ole post o’ mine) or I just make farting sounds with my mouth that sound vaguely like the melody. I have a very boring drive.
Speaking of being bored, (Whoa! check out that transition! All thanks to my Ring of Movement. Grants me a +10 to my transition skill.) has anybody ever asked you this question: If you were stranded on a desert island, what one game would you want with you? Or they could replace game with book or movie or type of food. But for the moment let’s stay with what one game would you want with you if you were stranded (let’s assume forever) on a desert island.
I believe I have found my answer.
It’s not Final Fantasy VII, or Super Metroid, or Tetris, or World of Warcraft, or Perfect Dark. It isn’t a classic from my childhood like say, Duck Hunt or Super Mario Bros.
No friends, the one game I would want with me if I was stranded on a desert island is a little iOS game called Puzzle and Dragons.
Imagine, if you will, a game that involves the colored ball matching of Bejeweled, the dungeon exploration of your favorite old school rpg, and the monster collecting and battling of Pokemon. Mash all these wonderful things together and you get Gung Ho’s marvelous little mobile game Puzzle and Dragons.
The game is “freemium”, which means it is free to download and offers players a marketplace where they can purchase additional items to buy new monsters or increase the number of monsters they can hold. Lately it seems like the term “freemium” has become a dirty word, a way to identify games created by companies for the sole purpose of making money (companies can’t make money, bah!). Of developing addictive games that can only be fully experienced by shelling out immense amounts of cash. Perhaps you’ve heard horror stories of young children who’ve spent thousands of dollars on these games, to their parent’s shock.
Puzzle and Dragons, surprisingly, made me feel shitty for having enjoyed an experience so much without paying anything for that enjoyment and fun. Yes, you can go through Puzzle and Dragons without spending any money, and you are free and encouraged to do so. But it is so well crafted and supported, the company gives away enough free magic stones that you never really have to buy any, that after a month of free play I said to myself, you deserve my money Gung Ho, thank you. And I bought five bucks worth of magic stones and got a new monster.
You are rewarded for logging in every day, the game does require access to the internet to connect to the P&D servers which is maybe the only complaint I have with the game, it can’t be played offline. Almost every week there is some kind of special event going on, like a special thank you for reaching 20,000 likes on their Facebook page.
What makes Puzzle and Dragons so special, you know, because it had better be special since it’s the one game I’d want with me on a desert island, is it doesn’t let me get bored with overplaying. The game limits play by burdening players with a stamina bar. Every dungeon you explore has a stamina cost to play and once your stamina bar is depleted you can’t play anymore. The good news is that your stamina bar slowly builds back up over time, but it’s at a snail-like one stamina every ten minutes. Meaning you can’t play all day, and since the game itself is fun and challenging and strategic and goal orientated, you will want to play all day despite the game telling you in pop-up messages to Limit Your Play To An Hour A Day (bullshit). It’s an appreciated move by the developers, to give me a game that won’t eat away at my life despite my attempts to allow the game to do the opposite. By not letting me play all day, the time that I do get with the game feels special and unique.
So go, play, lose yourself, just be careful. There is a reason this game makes $3.75 million a day. The compulsion to drop major coin is all too real.
Stay poopy my friends.